Where oh where to begin. I'm not entirely sure, so I'll start with what happened a few weeks ago. I was on my myspace, browsing through my friend's list for people to talk to and leave messages in hopes of getting some back. On an old aquaintance's myspace page, I saw that his status said that he was "ready to cock-a-doodle you", which alluded to his name on the site. So, joking (mostly), I left him the message that he could cock-a-doodle me. I was mostly kidding around, but a part of me still vaguely remembers the tall handsome man from karaoke who put his hand on my back and was slightly aroused. A few days pass by and after posting pictures of my new silver-blonde hair, I get a message from him asking me if he wants to go out. So, I took him up on it, after some deliberation. Of course there was hesitation. Hesitation because of what my on-again-off-again friend Lance had told me he had done to his shoulder, and what my other friend Push had tired to convince me of. But most importantly of all, was the fact that I was going out with Matt, a guy slightly younger and extremely cuter that I'd met the previous semester. Or at least I thought I was. Matt and I had really only communicated via myspace and facebook since he had gone back home for the summer. I tried calling a few times, but only got his mom once. I figured he was busy (summer job, plays, etc.), so I would wait a while and message him back. He said he would call and that he had to talk to me about his family situation, update me and what not. But I never heard from him after that. Until a few nights before classes started..when I was at Jacks. :s I was sleeping and it was 3 am, of course. Well, I tried to get a hold of him to tell him how Jack and I were now dating. So there you have it: just me and Jack, no me and Matt, or me and any friends. It's pretty weird, but I feel like a freshmen all over again, I'm so lonely on campus. Matt and everyone on his side probably hate me and will treat me as an outcast, while Lance and David most defintely hate me for choosing the man who dislocated his shoulder over the nice, sweet preppy boy. :( And yet I ask, can't we all just get along?!

Tags: forbidden romance (?)
Current Location: Payne Hall
Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: Hitomi Takashi- Jet Boy, Jet Girl

I may be gay, but sometimes, like now, I just hate men. When they're not teasing you and texting you to death, they promise to call you after spending the weekend at their house and don't..for more than three months. As far as I'm concerned, men are only good for ONE thing: sex. No fuss, no muss. No messy emotional attachment bullshit. Unfortuantely, I'm stuck in the one place on the whole North American continent where gay men are invisible: Ishpeming. God, I'm going to die alone. On the bright side, I won't die a virgin...

Tags: hate, men, rant
Current Location: Hell, MI, USA
Current Mood: enraged
Current Music: No music; the screams of men being castrated..